Im proud of my

consistency of my updates on tumblr, twitter (sorta) and blogspot! (: Ugh fuck, school starts in how many days?! I'm not too excited. Right now, I should be sleeping, but I just can't. I still haven't gone school shopping for makeup and clothes, and I am in need of a bag. Actually, I have enough bags, but not enough to satisfy me. And I'm waiting to get my Nikon D5000, and then new shoes. Well, I don't really know what to say today cause today, I literally sat on my lazy ass for the whole day watching tv and eating popsicles. Wow, my life sucks. Well hopefully I get my ass off the couch and start studying and stuff...

What a fucken bust!

School's starting soon, and I'm not prepared, that's for sure. I'm so bored of life, I don't even know how I'm supposed to live it to my fullest. I want to move! Far, far away. Okay, scratch my last post. I don't even want a boy to begin with. Why? Because our differences fuck things up every single time. There was no time that I had to freedom to even actually give a shit about my relationships, cus I don't think none of my boyfriends even liked me, LOL. Sad shit. But anyways, I've always wanted to perfect boyfriend, ever since the last one. But then if I come to think of it, how the hell would I get a boyfriend when everyone just runs their mouths about me and goes off telling everyone some random shit about me? The guys just agree, but they can't back their shit up! -_- Ugh whatever. I'm currently just pulling myself back from falling hard for someone. i've got to admit, this one was not a keeper ;) Agh, fuhreals. What should I do. I'm kind of excited for school, but I always regret saying that, hah. Well this is a nice way to start blogging again. I love blog posts. I read everyones, no lie!

Survey with the bestfriend

OLD OLD survey! But re-doing it with the bestfriend.




Do you like anyone?
C: I don't knoww for sure.
G: Yeah.

Which would be more meaningful to you: I love you a lot, I love you so much, or I love you more than anything?
C&G: I love you more than anything!

Does it piss you off that stupid sixth graders think they're in love?
C: Yeah, it's pretty sad.
G: Yeaaah

Is there a specific moment you can replay in your mind perfect?
C: hahah yeup.
G: I don't knowwww

Who was the last person to call you and why?
C: Jung Jeong cus of something ;)
G: Johnny because I couldn't wake upp! (:

Anything good happening tomorrow?
C: hah, honestly I don't knoww.
G: lol, i don't know yet

Do you know anyone who's done ecstasy?
C: yeeeup
G: yeahhh

What was the first thing you thought of this morning?
C: Hmm.. idr
G: what's going on.. LOL

Do you think you've ruined your chances with someone?
C: Hah, idk
G: I don't know (Claire says.. YES)

Are you a slut?
C: Nope LOL
G: Nooo

Have you ever been caught skipping class?
C: Nope... Well sorta ... that's why I had summerschool ROFL
G: No

What's more important to you: good grades or having fun?
C: Both
G: Good grades! cus I can't have fun without getting good grades

Do you think there are circumstances when it's okay to wait for someone?
C: yeah, I guess
G: Yeahh

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
C: LOL no
G: No

Who is your number one person on your top friends?
C: Gabbs
G: Johnny

Have you gotten a detention this year?
C: Nope
G: No hehe

Are you happy right now?
C: Nope
G: Tired as hell

Did you have a dream last night?
C: i think so
G: ummm no

Do you know what it's like to be truly happy?
C: Nope
G: I think so, I don't know yet

Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
C: It depends on the song
G: LOUD

Last time you had a headache?
C: Uhhh recent..
G: Like a week ago

Do you have any nicknames?
C: Clairebear.
G: Yeah, huevo gobby gabbsters gabbs huevs

Are you able to grab your cell phone without moving from where you are?
C: all the time
G: Yeahh

Do you, or are you supposed to wear retainers?
C: After I get braces
G: Nope

If you had to dye your hair a color what color would it be?
C: blue black again.. Although I have it right now
G: Dark brownn

If you had to get another piercing (not ears) what would you get?
C: Lips, belly
G: nose

Do you ever get good morning texts from anyone?
C: Yeeuppp!
G: yeahhh

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them?
C: Sometimes.
G: Depends who it is

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
C: yeuppppp!
G: Yeahhhh

What's annoying you?
C: I don't know.
G: School -_-

Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today?
C: NOPE
G: yes!

If you ever wanna live to see another day, and you're forced to snort cocaine, would you do it?
C: haha, maybee
G: yeah I would

How important is a sense of humor in a significant other?
C: Very
G: Really important!

Last December, what was your love life like?
C: Uh, I think single
G: The same

Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
C: Sure.
G: yeah

What do you think of girls who say fuck, or cunt?
C: Idgaf
G: If they say cunt, then that's kiidna weird.

Lost a best friend recently?
C: Nope
G: No

Do you think relationships are hard?
C: Yeahhhhhh freaaakk
G: YEAHHH

Is there something that reminds you of someone every time you see/hear it?
Yes.
C: yeaaahhh HAHA
G: yeahhhh

What is your biggest fear about making a total commitment to someone?
C: everything.
G: that they're not as truthful

What is worse, physical or emotional pain?
both.
C: emotional leads to physical.
G: Both

Are you good at keeping in touch with people?
C: ehhhh, sure.
G: depends on who it is

Do you go on myspace everyday?
C: Nope
G: Hmmm, every other day

What would you do if your ex came to you and said 'i hate you'?
C: hahah, that's nothing compared to what he's done
G: I don't have an ex!

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to?
C: yeahhhh
G: Yes

Are you missing anyone?
C: sure.
G: Yaaa

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
C: I forgot.
G: My bumps

Have you made any new regrets this year?
C: Yeup
G: Yeahhh

Is anyone else in the room with you?
C&G: Nope

How do you feel right now?
C: Ehhh...
G: Depressed

Does anyone call you babe?
C: yeah
G: Yaaa

Do you have plans for this weekend?
C: Idk, hopefully
G: Get last minute school supplies

Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh?
C: ehh, i don't think so
G: No

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?
C: nope
G: No

What were you doing at 7:00 am?
C: Sleeping
G: Snoring hahaha (what a snorlax)

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
C: Not alot hah.
G: (she's actually counting ROFL) TEN

Do you know anyone that has been arrested?
C: Yuppp
G: Yeahhh

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
C: Way back
G: When I started high school

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
C: Forever 21
G: I'M NOT WEARING A SHIRT LOL

Last thing you touched not computer-​​related?​​
C: Phone
G: My hideous sin

What's your biggest concern?
C: how fuggs I am and wanting a boyfriend and college and sat
G: What I'm going to do with my life

Other than surveying, what are you doing right now?
C: Being tired as hell
G: Putting medicine on

Does it annoy you when people say they'll call but never do?
C: Depends on the person
G: No

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
C: beforeee
G: before

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
C: KTFO
G: Snoring even LOUDER haahah

Are you a patient person?
C: i try
G: No

When you're sick or sad, do you want to be alone or do you want someone?
C: Someone
G: I want someone... if I'm sick, I'd probably want to be alone

Have you jumped in a pool with all your clothes on?
C: yeup
G: Ummm, no

Have you cried this week?
C: Nope
G: No, but my eyes water

What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
C: I forget
G: Turn on my fan

Do you think you are a good person?
C: Haha, nah. I'm a BAMF
G: ya, hah

What does your last incoming text message say?
C: I deleted it LOL
G: It says, "You promise"

Will you sleep alone tonight?
C: yeup
G: Yupp

Is there someone you don't ever want to be out of your life?
C: yeah, but whatever happens, happens
G: ya

Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
C: nopee
G: No

Ever kissed a Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan or Colton?
C: Yeup
G: Nope

Are you excited for anything?
C: Nope
G: No

Did you like anyone last summer?
C: yeahhh
G: Yeah

Have you kissed someone in '09 that means a lot to you?
C: Eh, I don't know if he's worth it anymore
G: yaaa

I think

Blogspot is amazing! I love tumblr and my twitter but blogspot to me, never get old ;)
Agh, school's coming up next week, and I'm totally not ecstatic about it :/ So I've recently met some new people, and I feel as if I'm growing much more attached, but then again, I won't let myself because I know what this will lead to. The last few days were exciting and extrememly tiring, but I am holding on and trying to live my life to the fullest so that when school starts, I don't regret much! I think now, I have to strive more towards God and to believe in Him more than I used to. And I'm such a hypocrite for saying that everytime and turning my back on Him. Whatevs, so yeah. I'm done updating! It's hard to keep up with everything aghhhhhh! Anyways, I'm going to start updating more about everything, including the mysterious guy, who's not so mysterious. FYI I don't like him -_-

Just something I've grabbed from someone.

A
- Available: Yeeeees
- Age: 16 in a month
- Annoyance: Bitches who can't keep their shit real & People who are inconsiderate
- Animal: Dogs and Kittens!

B
- Birthday: September 21
- Body part on opposite sex: Arms and abs
- Best weather: Sunny weather, but with some wind
- Been on stage?: Yeah, for dance and choir
- Believe in God: Yeah, although I can't say I'm the best Christian out there

C
- Candy: Sour Patch Kids!
- Color: Black, grey, and blue I guess
- Chinese/Mexican: Mexican fsho
- Cake or pie: Cake
- Cheese: Great

D
- Day or Night: Depends
- Dance in the rain?: Ehhh, not really into rain.

E
- Eggs: Huevo!
- Eyes: Brown
- Ever failed a class?: For like three months LOL

F
- First crush: He was fuggs
- First thoughts waking up: Aw man.
- Food: Depends on my mood
- Fruit: Strawberries and apples

G
- Greatest fear: Bad changes, death, causing shit
- Goals: Be the person that God has chosen for me to be

H
- Hair color: Almost black with red in them
- Height: 5’4”
- Happy: Could be better
- Holiday: Halloween and Christmas
- How do you want to die: Either in sleep or like fast and painless.

I
- Ice cream: jamoca
- Instrument: The piano, and the flute. -_-

J
- Jewelry: Earrings, necklaces, bangles
- Job: I tutor sometimes, now... it's rare.

K
- Kids: Too young
- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing
- Keep a journal: yeah, but gave up years ago

L
- Love: the friends, esp the bestfriend, family that supports me whenever, God, who created me & Disneyland.

M
- Milk flavor: Just normal or banana is fine
- Movie: Toy Story series, UP, Alvin and the Chipmunks
- Mooned anyone: Yeah
- Marriage: Sooner or later
- Motion sickness: nope

N
- Number of siblings: 2
- Number of piercings: 4 on one ear, and 3 on the other and more to come
- Number: 3

O
- Overused Phrases: "Uh." "wtf" "coolbeanz"
- One wish: Changes made to me and to change what I've done in the past

P
- Place you’d like to live: The city, or near a beach
- Perfect Pizza: Cheese
- Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi

R
- Reason to cry: Sad stufffffffff
- Reality T.V.: LOL its so entertaining but stupid
- Radio station: KIISfm I guess
- Roll your tongue in a circle: I suck at the circle thing
- Ring Size: 7

S
- Song: Have a few.
- Shoe size: 7
- Salad dressing: Ranch or some vingerette
- Sushi: OMG I love sushi
- Skipped school: Haha I wish
- Sing well?: Hahah I've been told so but I disagree strongly
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Both

T
- Time for bed: 3/4 in the morning
- Thunderstorms: Whatevs
- TV: I rarely watch tv

U
- Unpredictable: I guess

V
- Vacation spot: Hm, I'd like to go out of the country or to Miami/Hawaii/NY

W
- Weakness: Nice and the finer things in life.
- Wanted to be a model: never
- Who makes you laugh the most: the bestfriend and the friends
- Worst weather: too hot to breathe or too cold to go out

X
- X-rays: I have had alot of x-rays done.

Y
- Year it is now: 2010

Z
- Zoo animal: Tigers and bears!
- Zodiac sign: Virgo

Ugh fucking depressing

Seriously, I don't even know why I'm in this position. I thank God in whatever condition he puts me through, but I regret making certain decisions. I feel like I've left the half of me somewhere else. I miss days with Angelica where we goof off and tell each other that we're like best friends that are meant to be. I miss talking to people at church like they're the only friends that I have treasured. I do have a best friend now, and I don't regret taking her in. She's the best I've ever had. But I miss Angelica, and so many other people out there that I've just trashed. Ugh... It's never going to be the same anymore :/

LONG LONG BREAK

from blogging. Now I'm back. I'm almost done with my website for my accessory line. Totally not prepared for the clothing part tho. I've been truly moved by the Invisible Children movement today, and I've decided to get something from their site. You guys should check them out --> www.invisiblechildren.com

Anyways, when my site goes up, I will let you know. Well it is up :P Just totally unprepared for anyone to look at. So yeup! Thanks for reading.

update! once again.

I hate updating on this. I just have no time! But I'll retry to update as many blogs as possible! (:

Apparantly,

I'm wanting Gabby to sleepover my house... Hopefully she can (:
& My contacts FINALLY came. Thanks mommy for getting them for me.

Anyways, I took this off of Chris Kim's thinggyy and I sort of liked it.

Ten Things I CAN say about different people.

1. You. You turned my life around 180 degrees. Even though you're in a far away place.. Well hours away in a different state, I know that the three years we've been best friends have changed me. You took me for who I truly am, and even though I messed up so many times in our bff relationship, you forgave and forget, like a real friend. You know how to comfort me, and we were always there for each other. I know that one day, we'll see each other again. But seriously, I truly thank you for every single thing you've done for me. You made most my junior high years.


2. You're truly a great cousin to me. You've given me the strength to do many things in life. I was able to give my heart up to God, even though I am a constant sinner, and know that you'd still be there for me when I give up. Thanks so much. I've known you way too long! My whole life, literally. I know that we've grown in two separate paths, but I hope that you lead your life into great success and use your great knowledge and leadership to teach other about ... well whatever you need to do ;)
Thankyou sooooo freaking much!

3. Uhhh.. Hm. I don't know what to say about you. I've known you like a brother, and I know that this past year has broken us apart. First, it gave me a really big impact, but I know that this has all happened for a good reason, and I know that God has something planned for us in return.. But you're still selfish and unreasonable. I think you're very disrespectful and weak. You're still going to be the skinny little twig I've always known for the rest of my life. Life will be slightly different, but I know we'll be able to get past that.

4. You're really hard to comprehend. I think you're very difficult and you make my bestfriend's life harder. I really hope to see changes and more respect to your gf. Please stop giving her your vulnerability. &You're lame.

5. You've taught me so well over the years. I know it's hard to pay attention to what you need to truly tell me and advise me, but in the end, I know I have gained much interest of all the useful words. Thankyou.

6. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU SO MUCH. My words nor actions can truly describe how thankful I am for you.

7. I know we don't really talk as much as we want to anymore, and I'm sorry for that. I know I'm supposed to be by your side at all times, but I think it's just hard for that to occur. I still love you and you're always going to stay as one of my closest friends. Thanks so much for always understanding me. I will never forget our DRAMA hahaa. Crying on a school bench together, trying to improve our friendships and promising that we won't fight over a guy ever again. hahaha, I love you. DANCER.

8. We're like weird friends hahah. I love talking to you, because you seem interested in what I'm saying. I know gossiping is so bad, and I repent as much as I can but our late night conversations and video messages make my day haha. Thanks, I wish we'd be good friends for like..ever haha!

9. I'm sorry. I know how you felt now. There are some major changes.. And I wish I can turn back in time. I regret everything, and I would never use you or anything. Sorry, and thanks for everything. Your effort made me realize so much about you. I know how caring you are and it hurts me that I've lost you.

10. BMAFFL! OH MY GOD. I don't even know where to start. It just started one summer day. I'm so happy. I get to share every single thing with you and you made me realize how trustworthy a friend can be. I thank God for bringing you into my life, every single day. Thanks for being a really really really supportive friend. Your truths can hurt sometimes, but it's okay, in the end, it really helps me. I still dislike your boyfriend, but as long as you're happy, so am I. You give crappy advice but it's okay. I appreciate everything you've done. and I love hanging out with you and your mother (: Thanks cutie! You're the best thing that's ever happened to me yet! hahahaha, I know you love me too. And don't cry againn.... (:

9 Things about Myself :

1. I can get extremely sensitive.

2. I blunt and say whatever I think

3. I honestly don't give about what others say about me.

4. I have OCD

5. I am selfish and rude.

6. I am nice.

7. I get dissappointed easily.

8. I get interested in reading The Bible.

9. I've been dancing for 11 years now.

Seven Things that have Crossed My Mind Lately :

1. Should I go on Swim Team this year?

2. I miss my carefree life.

3. How am I supposed to manage my time?

4. Future?

5. Finals! -.-

6. When will I die?

7. How should I start all this...

Six Things I do before I fall asleep :

1. Face wash, mask, brush my teeth, leave in hair conditioner.

2. Hook up my phone.

3. Play a game.

4. QT

5. Read a book

6. Clean my room.

Four People Who Mean Alot to Me :

1. Ma famille

2. Bestfren

3. Friends

4. Dance Teachers/Instructors

Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now :

1. H&M Longsleeve

2. Skinny Jeans

3. Belt

4. Studs

One Confession :

I took an exam and didn't turn the scantron part in...
I got a 90% .

Hm,

So yeah, I'm off into deep thoughts for tonight. I remember, when like, I used to like this boy, and like everything. Well, people are saying that I was "toying him around" but that's not true. I really really liked him, and I've been waiting forever for him, but like, he never asked me, so I gave up. That doesn't mean I was TOYING him around -.- Ugh whatevs I guess. Sooooo, I'm like talking to Beanz over the phone right now, and he was singing and everything. Well, yeah. Wtf seriously. I'm so mad. WHAT THE HELLLLL. Well, I'm done and sick of it too. Please let me leaaaveeeeeee.

OTAY

So I don't know what I'm supposed to do about this boy. I really don't. I don't like him, but I don't dislike him either. But I don't want to be friends with him. Hm, I don't really care right now. I have better things to care about than stupid boys who can't even treat a girl right. weeeell, today, I went to Irvine Spectrum with Gabby and Alyssa and we had fun. I'll have spectrum pictures asap (: but these are just other crappp.

I feel as if

I'm moved to another scene. Wellll, I'm at Gabby's, reminiscing our summer memories together. I don't know what we're going to do, but we're still thinking through it. If the same exact summer with the same contents came again, what will I do this time? Would I be able to handle it again? I honestly don't know. Wellllll, I should be getting ready... I don't even know where we'd end up tho. Hahha, I still miss summer.